Four score and seven years ago, this publication did not exist. So thank your lucky stars that you didn’t live back then because people had to climb the Internet uphill both ways just to vote in a poll. In the snow. For your convenience, we’ve already paid to have all snow removed from this poll, so boldly declare your pick for the best story of 2014.
The biggest Reader’s Choice Poll in Fiction Vortex history has officially closed, and it’s time to reveal the winner. Unfortunately, the goblin accountant’s union is on strike, so we’ve had to rely on technology to tabulate the votes. So no, we haven’t been certified by the Bureau of Speculative Middle Management, but what we lack in authenticity we make up in enthusiasm. When performing complex tasks in an unfamiliar profession, a big smile goes a long way.
You have waited patiently, dear readers, and now you shall be rewarded with a choice and a complimentary dragon egg. However, due to a problem with shipping, we only have the choice to offer you right now. But rest assured that it’s a doozy. It’s time for you to pick the best story of 2013.
Don’t faint. You can handle this.
In our excitement for the upcoming Best of 2013 Reader’s Choice Poll, we completely forgot to announce the winner of the December Reader’s Choice Poll. We’re about to rectify that. Just as soon as we beat back this infestation of wyrms. Oh, and we’ve got to bake those faerie cakes before the full moon. And we promised that ghoul we’d help him blood-proof his kitchen for easier cleanup after meals. And … you know what, why don’t we just announce the winner first.
We just can’t get enough of you guys. We’re like that crazy aunt who’s inexplicably but genuinely interested in hearing all about your life and your accomplishments. So in the spirit of overbearing-but-totally-not-creepy love for good fiction, we’re revisiting the best stories of 2013.
Which means there are more contests and prizes to award!
You’re probably tired of making choices at this point; you just spent the last month worrying about getting a thoughtful but reasonable present for your parents, and you’re wishing that adulthood wasn’t so hard … and expensive. I get it. But just stick with me for a little longer, here. We need you to cast your vote in the Reader’s Choice Poll. As soon as you tell us your favorite story from December 2013, it’s over. You can jump directly into choosing the right New Year’s resolution that won’t be too devastating when you break it.
Whoops, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.
There’s nothing like a good fight, especially when it takes place far away from our puny bodies. Which is why it was so much fun to watch September’s Reader’s Choice Poll play out within the confines of our gnome-powered servers. We didn’t have to clean up any blood, and there was only one report of injury to someone’s clicking finger. Good show, everyone!